Vices and Virtue
by Mapping the Soul
Summary: People can say what they like, but Totsuka never claimed to be without flaws. Warnings: M/M relationships. Major Character Deaths (Canon), Headcanon & Some Sexual Content (pairings: Mikoto/Tatara, Mikoto/Reishi, Saruhiko/Tatara)


**Rating:** M

**Warning:** M/M, Character Deaths (canon), Sexual Content

**Fandom:** K Project / [K] / K

**Pairing/Relationship:** Suoh Mikoto/Totsuka Tatara, Suoh Mikoto/Munakata Reishi, Fushimi Saruhiko/Totsuka Tatara

**Status:** Completed

**Author:** Mapping the Soul

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything.

**Summary: **People can say what they like, but Totsuka never claimed to be without flaws.

**Vices and Virtue**

Eavesdropping isn't something that Fushimi particularly likes or dislikes doing. It just happens and he's come to terms with it, like he has come to terms with all the other things that piss him off. Now, he just plays indifference. However, this situation is a little sweeter than others—not as sweet as the awkward encounter two weeks ago on SCEPTER 4's rooftop but sweet enough to entertain—and it's hard to ignore. The Captain is as stern as always but he always has oddly kind intentions. Although late, bumping into Totsuka in the middle of the street, Munakata brings the knowledge to memory and wishes the young man a belated happy birthday. After all, Totsuka Tatara is one of the easier members of HOMRA to speak to.

"Say Munakata-san," Despite his selfish intentions, Totsuka's tone is clear and bright, just like his expression, "What is that day to you then?"

Munakata pauses. _Present tense?_ It certainly isn't his birthday.

"I guess…" Munakata slows down. _What did that man call it?_

A smile creeps up onto his face and makes him very un-Captain-like. Fushimi cringes at his own thoughts. It's surprising that he can tell exactly what it is that Totsuka is aiming for. Although Totsuka remains bright there is a hint of darkness that slips out. Fushimi has seen himself in the same light though he's certain he suffers it worse than the sandy blonde. There's no doubt that Munakata is competent but it really is a rather simple question. In front of Totsuka, everyone takes things at face value. But if there's one thing that Fushimi had to say, it'd be the fact that no one should underestimate Totsuka Tatara.

"It was Valentine's Day."

Fushimi smiles to himself as he remembers the Red King's words one hour before the day was over. He confirms his suspicions silently with a grin draped across his face. This is practically gold.

"I see," Totsuka says with a smile, "I'm glad that you also spent it well."

So it isn't just another day in the office nor is it a day filled with paperwork. And it is definitely not Singles Awareness day. Munakata looks quizzical but before the idea can fit into the easily solved the puzzle, Totsuka waves his hand dismissively, saying that he needs to go.

"Thank you for your birthday wishes, albeit late." Totsuka says as he turns away, "Have a good day, Munakata-san!"

And for Fushimi, that is when it all starts.

—

Kusanagi is rarely concerned with much so when he voices it, something is definitely wrong. However, the source of his worry is now laughing in his face and with good reason to boot so he can't really complain. In fact, Kusanagi thinks that the sandy blonde should be the one complaining even if it might not help. The tension is so awkwardly obvious to him it makes him want to cry in Totsuka's stead.

"What?" Totsuka repeats, wiping tears that have gathered due to laughter away, "Are you really saying that we can do it upstairs?"

That's not what he had said but now that he reflects on it, it does sound like he is actively encouraging it. However, the bartender could not have phrased the question in any other way. It's hard for Kusanagi to place a poker face on and just ask. Even if they've always been close, it is weird to ask such a personal and intimate question like it means nothing.

"No," Kusanagi pouts and presses the matter no further.

—

Usually, when he is in this place, it's because there's a party of some sort coming up and planning is going to take place. After all, if planning takes place at HOMRA's bar then there goes the surprise. However, today the small one room apartment is empty and looks spacer than he remembers. Every time all the members of HOMRA gather, it's jammed pack and it's impossible to move until the person sitting by the door exits. The reason for such a small pace is that the owner of the apartment likes his friends to be close.

"Fushimi, will you be alright without breakfast?"

Fushimi does not turn to find the owner of the voice. It is not Misaki, but he knows that voice well enough to assume his safety. Lately, the tone is slightly bitter but always chipper enough to balance it all out. Fushimi turns away from the sunrays invading his personal space and groans into the pillow. He wants to sleep in a little more but duty calls. He rolls over to the other side of the bed and finds that it is warm, even without the sun. That means that it hasn't been long since his company got up.

"I'll eat out," he says and closes his eyes.

Fushimi isn't particularly picky about the morning afters and has gotten over the embarrassment that comes along with it. Besides that, his partner from the night before is hardly bashful. Fushimi turns a little more and steals a glance at the sparkling clean skin that comes into view as the man exits his bathroom. The towel that's draped over his shoulders takes in water that's dripping from his hair. The sight stirs up something ugly within him.

Fushimi stares at the milky porcelain skin while wishing to leave burn marks just to spite the Red King. "Are you still running the morning errands, Totsuka-san?"

Glowing with the assistance of sunlight, the sandy blonde turns around with a small smile painted on his face. He grabs the towel from his shoulder and ruffles his hair within his palms to get it dry. The smile does not leave his cheeks, even for a second. Instead it grows stiff and it becomes harder for Fushimi to differentiate between real and fake.

"Yeah," Totsuka replies with a small chuckle, "I have to eat too, you know."

Fushimi grunts lowly. It's not really surprising for Totsuka to be that caring but it's still pisses him off. He lets it slide anyway, because Totsuka, in his longwinded way, is telling Fushimi that Misaki is still eating right. Finally, when his alarm goes off, Fushimi pushes the covers aside and rolls out of bed. Totsuka is just about done and ready to leave. All that's left for him to do is to slip into the white dress shirt sitting on his chair.

"Then, you can use the bathroom if you'd like." Totsuka repeats the words Fushimi has heard a dozen times, "And if you don't feel up to it, just drop the spare key into the mail box."

"I know," Fushimi whispers as the door closes in on him.

But he has no intentions of returning the key at all.

Fushimi hops into the bathroom, cleans up and then heads out to go home. It's safer to go home and change into his uniform than to be caught by the surveillance cameras around the city. He takes his time because he is early and as usual, he bumps into Totsuka before he gets home. The sandy blonde gives him a radiant smile and waves as they cross paths.

"Good morning," Fushimi says.

"'Morning," Totsuka beams back, "Off to work?"

Everything is normalised and the way it should be. The public eye is critical and so they are extra careful when they're outside.

"Yes," Fushimi eyes the grocery bags and frowns at the sight of the gauze bandages and gel cream for burns, "Looks like you're still too soft, Totsuka-san."

Totsuka pulls his smile straight, "And you're still too rough. Make sure you get to work on time or Yata will come out and pick an unnecessary fight with you."

"Heh," Fushimi snorts, "I'll see you around then Totsuka-san."

They part ways and Fushimi feels no need to think about Totsuka again until next month. But when he enters the Captain's office hours later, the gauze bandages around the Blue King's wrists catches his eyes and his thoughts finds their way back to the sandy blonde again. Totsuka is not as forgiving as he appears to be. He is certainly nice but in no way does that make him a fool.

"Captain," he ends up saying before he exits with paperwork piled to his chin, "Do you think you can win?"

"What are you talking about, Fushimi-kun?"

Munakata keeps his tone calm and collected, just like his noble self and it makes Fushimi snicker inwardly.

"Just sleep talk," Fushimi corrects himself and exits before he can be asked again. "Don't mind it, Captain."

—

They don't look at each other. They never kiss and Totsuka never makes a sound either. Every time Fushimi enters, it's from behind and Totsuka clings onto his pillow for dear life. His voice is muffled at first and then there's nothing at all as the pain subsides. Fushimi doesn't mind it all that much. It saves him the trouble and the frustration of trying to block out the voice that is not Misaki's.

It's a choice that they both acknowledge so there are no hard feelings once it's all done. They've each set their own terms and conditions. That is how _this_ works. However, Fushimi finds that his likeness for Totsuka makes him weak. Despite all of their uncaring acts within the bedroom, Fushimi is still considerate. Once Totsuka comes, Fushimi pulls out and finishes on his own. Even if the thought is tempting, Fushimi never comes inside.

While he does that, Totsuka flips his pillow and slumps back down. Fushimi has come to learn that Totsuka hates sleeping on pillows damp from his tears but never has enough nerve to call the sandy blonde out on it. Totsuka does it better. And Fushimi has his own habits he knows he doesn't want the sandy blonde to pick on. Everything is quiet as they clean up. Totsuka steals one section of the bed and Fushimi sleeps on other side. They don't cuddle.

So when morning comes, their monthly cycle repeats.

—

"Purple."

In other words, _your red is murky_.

The one word from Anna sends Mikoto off with a grunt. However, Totsuka freezes up too and Kusanagi doesn't miss it. It is a short lived moment but has enough spark to start up his radar. The bartender doesn't really want to know what's going on but some things can't be hidden. The Red King is bluntly obvious and uncaring but Totsuka has never been one to be so inconsiderate.

"My," Totsuka exclaims as he waltzes over to Anna, "How rare is it that you say the name of a colour other than red!"

"Yours is close to a violet." Anna whispers exclusively to Totsuka.

Totsuka smiles and ruffles Anna's hair gently so that the rest of HOMRA do not question the contents of the whisper. In front of Anna nothing can be hidden, but the sandy blonde never expected her to call him out on it. Perhaps he shouldn't have said anything in the first place but that would have been unlike the person the members of HOMRA perceive him to be. Totsuka makes a mental note to wash until his skin burns next time.

—

Kusanagi does not think that he needs to reprimand his King again, but here they are, alone in the bar's kitchen. Somehow, the bartender has managed to steal some time and now it is just the King and he. He hopes to get this over and done with before the others return.

"Mikoto," Kusanagi heaves a sigh as he whispers the King's name, "Y'know what I want to say, don't you?"

The Red King stares blankly and thinks over his actions briefly. Kusanagi only ever gets pissy about one thing and it's his damn bar. "I get it."

"Okay," Kusanagi replies, "Then change your habits. I don't want Tatara to find out that way."

Guilt washes over Mikoto's face briefly. He gives his best friend a curt nod and makes a mental note to try. It will be a lie to call it an accident but sometimes he just can't help it. The bar is convenient. It is home and he feels safe to some extent. Being careful and under the radar isn't something that he is good at, but perhaps it is time to change locations.

Like the sneaky devil, Totsuka pops his head through the kitchen door and giggles, "What is it that don't you want me to find out? I thought that if I waited long enough you'd expose your secret!"

Innocent eyes dart around and a grin slips onto Totsuka's face. However, before Totsuka can offer his idiotic theory, the King brushes past and destroys some brain cells on the way. Mikoto yawns as the door closes and Kusanagi shakes his head disapprovingly when Totsuka complains about the pain.

"Didn't I tell you so?"

Totsuka presents a bright chuckle and waves the plastic bag around, "I've stocked up on the first aid kit items as you asked. Do you need anything before I go and put them away?"

"No…" Kusanagi pauses and then calls the young one back before he exits, "Tatara?"

Totsuka beams as he tilts his head back, "Hm?"

One look at the man sends Kusanagi into a deep silence. Unable to bring the question past his throat, the bartender shakes his head with a smile and sticks the smoke between his lips. Totsuka waits only a fraction more before he deems that there really is nothing and closes the door behind him.

—

Anna squirms uncomfortably every single time she watches Totsuka leave the bar. The sandy blonde flashes a customary smile and then turns his heel. As always, he lingers at the door, contemplating things Anna wishes he wouldn't before he leaves. Bells ring loudly to signify his exit but Anna does not look up. The marbles run around the table as Anna thinks and then Totsuka is gone. Staring into the deep red of her marbles, Anna hopes that Totsuka has not forgotten her words.*

—

"Tatara," Kusanagi calls out one day when the bar is empty, "I'm kind of worried about you."

The sandy blonde turns and feigns hurt, as if Kusanagi is saying that Totsuka doesn't know how to look after himself. Everyone in HOMRA will claim it to be true and to some extent it's the truth. Totsuka functions on emotions and he's always quick to get himself into trouble because of it. Even when Kusanagi shoots his glare, Totsuka keeps his happy-go-lucky façade on. Emotions and Totsuka's ability to control it is beyond everyone in HOMRA put together.

"What is it, Kusanagi-san? It's not like you to be so serious." Totsuka frets over his friend to hide his own discomfort.

The bartender sighs and does not bother to beat around the bush any longer. "How long have you known?"

Totsuka lifts his camera and snaps a photo of the rare expression.

"Does it matter?" Totsuka questions cheerily, "I'm the one that's branded."

Kusanagi scoffs and continues to shine his wine glasses, "You're not the only one y'know."

—

Totsuka's death is something that everyone dreads, but when it happens, there's no shock, just pain. Kusanagi gives Mikoto some down time before they both agree to go to Totsuka's place. They need to pick up his things and return the apartment. No one's living there now and without paying the rent, everything might just be tossed out by the landlady.

"There are two sets of keys, so please find the second one," she requests before Mikoto sets his foot on the stairs.

"Two?" Kusanagi repeats, "Don't you have the other one?"

Mikoto racks his brain, "Might be in the mail box?"

To his knowledge, that's where he left it last.

"We'll check on the way out then," Kusanagi says and unlocks Totsuka's door.

He slows down unconsciously. Kusanagi feels his heart pounding in his chest. He did see Totsuka's death but being in this place might still be a little too much. Before he turns the knob, Kusanagi plasters on his cool exterior and prays that Mikoto does not crack it and just burn the whole place down. Kusanagi steals a glance and waits for confirmation. Mikoto nods quickly and follows the bartender into darkness.

The shadow inside resembles Totsuka's thin and frail figure. It is momentary. The curtains fly because Totsuka has failed to close the window. Once it settles, the dark shadow becomes clearer and Kusanagi stops. It's not surprising, yet it is. Holding his mouth agape, he pushes back a little. Sitting comfortably on the edge of Totsuka's bed is the ex-HOMRA member outside of his uniform. That clearly makes it a personal visit rather than an official one.

"What?" Mikoto questions when he bumps into the dumbfounded brunet.

"Oh… you're here already," a familiar voice greets them, the snicker evident in his tone; "It's been a while."

The unvoiced questions settle around them and it becomes suffocating when neither party offers any words. The young man shouldered in darkness unfolds his legs steps into the sunlight. His face is bright and clear in the sunlight as he sneers at the Red King. Right at that moment, Fushimi figures that Totsuka had known all along that it may come to this. _Hell, this is even better than leaving marks._ Though kind, the sandy blonde can be as sly as a fox.

"I just came to check for myself," Fushimi confesses as he pushes the frames back onto the bridge of his nose.

"How…?" Kusanagi whispers.

"Oh," Fushimi shuffles around his pocket, "He gave it to me. The spare key."

Kusanagi shakes his head and palms his face. It had become obvious lately, that Totsuka is seeing someone else. However, Kusanagi didn't think it'd be Fushimi. Totsuka's choice is too close to home and once again, it reiterates the fact that he isn't as innocent, sweet and kind as he has lead others to believe. Totsuka had said that he'll no longer chase. It's a tiring process. And he was damn right when he said that once he overtakes it will all turn around. Mikoto will be the one who will run out of breathe to catch up.

Next to him, the Red King is trembling. Fushimi does not need any confirmation of what it is the Red King is feeling. He knows exactly what it is and it's more than enough to see the Red King tremble. It makes him feel elated and he continues to float up.

"I just wanted to return it," Fushimi adds on as he passes by.

The ex-HOMRA member settles the key down gently on Totsuka's desk. He runs his finger across it and pulls away reluctantly like he holds a million memories.

He holds his step back and turns to the Red King who refuses to move and giggles sardonically, "I hope it hurts."

_Like how Totsuka hurt. And how I did._

_Fin._

* * *

*NB: "If you say by his side, you won't live very long." Anna's words are translated by zeheart tumblr. They are translations from the novel K SIDE: RED. It was what Anna had said after "looking" at Totsuka. Thank you to zeheart for letting me use your translations! (:


End file.
